Talkin' With The Simpsons!
by Starii Nite
Summary: Interviews with The Simpsons and their many relatives and friends! Enjoy! Please read and review!
1. Homer

**The Simpsons Interview**

A/N: I realize that there are probably a bazillion interview fanfics, but apparently none has been done for The Simpsons, so I'm going to do one.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Simpsons. Clear as that.

Rii: Welcome to Rii Live! Today we are going to interview Mr. Simpson. Hello Mr. Simpson!

Homer: Excuse me, but it's HOMER Simpson!

Rii: Whatever. Anyways, first question. Why do you choke Bart?

Homer: Well you see, if I were to spank him, I would have to lift my hand, position him just right, bring my hand down, and SMACK! But if I choke him, I just grab him by the neck and squeeze! See how much more efficient that is?

Rii: ... Sure ... next question. What is your favorite movie?

Homer: Let me think ... oh, I like The Itchy and Scratchy Show. That mouse is so weird, and why is it blue? I like purple!

Rii: That's nice, but that's not a movie.

Homer: WHEN I SAY I LIKE THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW, THAT MEANS I LIKE IT! GOT IT!?

Rii: ... Okay ... So, someone wants to know why your name is Homer.

Homer: You can't rhyme my name with anything. See? Homer, Bomer, Domer, See?

Rii: What about misnomer?

Homer: What is misnomer?

Rii: An error in a person or thing.

Homer: DOH!

Rii: HAHA! Misnomer Homer! Or misnamed HOMER! HAHA! Okay, onto the next question.

Homer: Fine with me chief!

Rii: It's ... oh whatever. Who's Homer?

Homer: Uh ... I know who it is ... uh ... I think that ... uh ... I don't know.

Rii: You sure?

Homer: Ya ... OH WAIT! It's uh ... my son?

Rii: Well who are you?

Homer: Homer, duh!

Rii: So then who's Homer? You or your son?

Homer: That's a tough question ... let me think ... I don't know ... Maybe it's the bumblebee guy!

Rii: So which one is it?

Homer: ...

Rii: Wow ... Okay. So now someone asks what do you think of having a pet squirrel?

Homer: I like squirrels.

Rii: That doesn't answer my question.

Homer: What's your question?

Rii: What do you think of having a pet squirrel?

Homer: Oh they're cool! I like them!

Rii: That still doesn't answer my question.

Homer: What was your question?

Rii: Ugh ... WHAT DO ... eh forget it. Another question. Why are you so effin amazing?

Homer: What does amazing mean?

Rii: Really awesome.

Homer: What does really awesome mean?

Rii: Really great.

Homer: What does really great mean?

Rii: ... OH LOOK! We have no more time left. Well I'll see you back here very soon!

Homer: But I didn't finish ...

Rii: Goodbye everyone!

A/N: So what did you think? Please review! And if you want, you can request an interviewee, or someone to be interviewed. You can also ask questions


	2. Marge

**Talkin' With The Simpsons**

A/N: Second chapter! ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I don't own Simpsons. It's as easy as that.

Rii: Welcome back to Rii Live! Today we are very fortunate to have Mrs. Marge Simpson to be here with us today! Hello Marge!

Marge: Hello Rii.

Rii: I will ask you some questions and you answer truthfully. Is that alright?

Marge: Fine with me!

Rii: First question, how do you handle three kids and a fat guy?

Marge: The three kids are fine! Lisa can care for herself, Bart kind of takes care of himself with junk food and comic books, Lisa takes care of Maggie, and I have to worry about Homer. Although I do have to cook and clean for all six of them.

Rii: SIX!? There's Maggie, Lisa, Homer, and Bart. Who else? You and Grandpa?

Marge: Yes, but then that makes it eight. See there's Maggie, Lisa, Homer, Me, Bart, Grandpa, the dog and the cat!

Rii: Oh yeah .. I forgot. Heh heh. How do you get your hair like that?

Marge: See, I buy this steel frame and put it inside my hair.

Maniacal laughter

Marge: ... Then I dye it blue! With 16 bottles of sky blue hair dye.

Rii: SIXTEEN!?

Marge: Of course! Have you seen how much hair I have?

Rii: No. But anyways ... Why is your hair blue?

Marge: Uh ... see ... black makes me look emo/goth, brown, nah I don't want to be called a brunette. No not blonde because people would assume that I'm dumb, and not white/gray because it makes me look OLD! So blue is the perfect color!

Rii: Interesting. So how was your day today?

Marge: Well ... it was great! See Maggie said her first word! Do you want to hear it? Do you? Do you?

Rii: Sure. Would everyone like to hear it?

nodding in the audience

Rii: So what was it?

Marge: oohgawasenoah

Boos

Rii: Interesting ... so ... what else happened today?

Marge: I made dinner for Homer and Bart and Lisa and Maggie.

Rii: What did you make?

Marge: Pumpkin Eel Pie.

EWW

Rii: ... no comment

Marge: WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT

Marge Cries

Rii: ... Uh Marge is not available at this moment. Join us next time for an interview with BART SIMPSON!


	3. Bart

**Talkin' With The Simpsons**

A/N: Da third chappie of my fifth story. Enjoy and r+r! Tee Hee Hee! FEATURING NEZZI! And the O.M.G.T.I.N.W.I.C.D.T.-itis was created from the idea of O.M.G.I.C.D.T.D by nightsilencesister which she gave me permission to use.

Disclaimer: There is no way that I own The Simpsons unless I'm Matt Groening or Fox.

Rii: Welcome back to Rii Live!

Bart: That's a lame name. Holy moly! I just rhymed! Does this mean I'm growing up? Someone slap me!

Audience stares blankly.

Bart: SOMEONE SLAP ME!

Audience still stares blankly.

Bart: Oh my gosh!

Rii: Uh .. director? Slap Bart!

Director: Uh ...

Rii: JUST DO IT!

Director faints.

Rii: GOODNESS GRACIOUS! HE'S JUST GOTTEN THIS TERRIBLE DISEASE THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT!

Bart: How do you know?

Rii: I'm the writer of this story ... DUH! Co-director ... get an ambulance!

Co-director de-inflates.

Rii: Haha ... silly me, we have no co-director. By the way, where's Nezzi?

Silence.

Rii: Eh ... we will just continue on without her. So Bart?

Bart: Yeah?

Rii: Do you have any questions before we start this interview?

Bart: Yeah. Why do I not want to know about the disease that the director got and why are we here and will u eat my shorts?

Rii: You don't want to know about it because it's so terrible, we're here so we can finish up this interview for my story, and I might eat your shorts ... BUT I WON'T!!! HAHA! Man I'm so evil!

Audience stares blankly.

Rii: We need a new audience. Anyways first question.

Nezzi bursts in.

Rii: You're late Mouse.

Nezzi: DON'T CALL ME Mouse! It's NEZZI! And what am I supposed to say?

Rii hands over the script.

Nezzi looks over the script.

Nezzi (mumbling): Bart ... like ... Homer ... fart ... fusuzle?

Rii: WHAT!? Gimme that!

Nezzi: Okay ...

Rii: Toodles! Not fusuzle.

Nezzi: Sorry, I can't read your handwriting.

Rii: That's YOUR handwriting! You wrote your parts ... DUH!

Nezzi: Shut up.

Bart: AHEM!

Rii: Oh sorry Bart! Anyways ... first question. Do you like Flanders more then Homer?

Bart: Well no ...

Lie Detector: LIAR!

Rii: ... Since when did we get a lie detector?

Nezzi: Uh ... since I was hired? And why do you get to ask the first question?

Rii: Because I'm the HOST! DUH!

Nezzi: Shut up.

Rii: No.

Nezzi: YES!

RII: NO!

Bart: LADIES!

Rii and Nezzi glare at Bart.

Bart backs away.

Nezzi: So who do you like better?

Bart: See Homer let me carry a bomb, so HOMER!

Nezzi: Interesting.

Rii: THAT'S MY LINE!

Nezzi: NO IT'S NOT!

Rii: YES IT IS!

Nezzi: Fine. Be that way. Next question, how edible are your shorts?

Bart: See the only rea ..

Rii: THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW ... MOUSE!

Nezzi: STOP CALLING ME THAT!

Rii: NO!

Nezzi: YES!

Rii wrestles Nezzi off the screen.

Bart: Well the only reason that I say "Eat my shorts!" is because they're made of chocolate!

They stop wrestling.

Rii: That concludes our show for today! Join us next time for an interview of Lisa!

Nezzi: WHY DO U STEAL MY LINES!

Rii: THOSE WERE MY LINES! OMG!

Nezzi: Ugh .. I hate you.

Rii: I hate you more.

Nezzi: I hate you the most.

Rii: I HATE YOU THE MOST TIMES INFINITY!

Nezzi: WELL GUESS WHAT?? I DON'T EVER WANT TO COME BACK ON THIS SHOW AGAIN!

Rii: Wow ... fine with me! I was going to invite you for the next show, but I guess I should just invite Snowwi.

Nezzi: CAN I COME ON? PWEASE?

Rii: I already invited Snowwi. Maybe next next next next next (etc.) time?

Nezzi: ...

A/N: I hope you liked that! By the way, Nezzi is actually Nezumi, which means mouse. Please review!

Next up, and interview with Lisa!


End file.
